The allure of Darcy and Poldark

It’s hard to believe that those famous abs are hidden underneath such a pedestrian sweater. Can it be it’s the same person? Really?

It’s as if the character we have fallen for on screen has been deflated, reduced to the actor who, without the help of costume and makeup and script, has been significantly transformed, almost unrecognizable, almost nothing like the character we so desired.

The disappointment is real, if a little unrealistic.

When we see these fantasy men in the flesh in the modern environment of talk shows, they are not the men we have seen on the screen and, quite frankly, it can be disappointing. I’m sure, for a moment after watching every episode, we all envy the partners of Colin Firth and Aidan Turner – after all, they get to sleep with Mr. Darcy and Ross Poldark every night – while we have to wait once a week to get our fix. But for most of us, we discover disappointingly, it’s not actually the actors we are after: it’s the fantasy of their  characters and personalities they portray.

We enjoy these dramas and these characters because they offer hope that if really complex, honorable men could exist back then, then perhaps they can still exist today.

These are the men we enjoy watching because they exhibit a capacity to grow under the influence of a caring and loving woman. Oh! How we would love to be the one to change them, to be the one to make a difference to them and be loved for doing so. To change those men who are at first misunderstood; who appear brooding and sullen and taciturn; who are rude, lack the elegant manners expected, and who refuse to conform to society’s expectations, is what we privately dream about.

The thrilling revelation, as we always suspected, is that their taciturnity is merely shyness and an inability to mingle with those of easier manners; one person who loves them is enough to bring them out of themselves. Once uncovered, their sheer depth of feeling gives us hope; it reveals a partner who will never give up, will never expect more from others than he expects from himself, will love deeply, and honestly, and forever.

They are seen as men who question the status quo; men who see their love interest as a thinking sentient being rather than a quick diversion; someone who can share in their life and actually make it better; men who are deep thinkers and do the right thing even when no one else is and laughs at them for doing so; men who put family first, who want nothing more than to protect what is theirs while also giving those they cherish the freedom to expand their own knowledge of the world and their own interests.

Sadly, in reality, those who actually are brooding, sullen, taciturn, and refuse to conform, frequently remain that way regardless of how much love is showered upon them. That is how they are, period.

Life is nothing like a costume drama.

Not every difficult man or woman responds to loving influences with integrity and passion: rather, they will take whatever is offered and then, when reality hits, move right along to the next partner who has stars in their eyes and a belief that they will be the one to make a difference.

So, I believe, this is why we watch dramas such as Poldark and Pride and Prejudice so avidly, why they are popular with teenagers through grandparents alike. Not because of Aidan Turner and Colin Firth, but because their characters embody all those traits that we still hanker after in a mate.

Pay attention, gentlemen, our list is not long, but it is specific and idealistic: unstinting love, unequivocal honesty, unlimited trust, and devoted protection.

Oh, and a great set of abs.